“Maybe it’s a song that’s gotten into your head”
The first doctor I saw, a couple of days ago, told me it was nothing. Maybe it was a song that I had stuck in my head.
–Nothing to worry about –he said –it will stop after a day–.
A song? I thought. This did not seem like a song that had gotten into my head. But I’ll trust the doctor, who is the expert after all.
Except two days later, the beeps and buzzing were just as unbearable, so I went to see another specialist doctor at the hospital’s Otolaryngology service. This time, the doctor was much more direct:
– You have tinnitus –said the doctor, very dryly.
– Tinnitus…? –I had not heard that word in my life.
– An auditory trauma to your ears – he explained.
– Hmm… Okay, okay. But, how do I get the buzzing to go?
– It won’t go away –was his answer, and he continued with his duties, just like when someone says “Here’s your change, thank you”.
– What? No! Seriously, there has to be something I can do, I can’t live like this, I can’t stand it for another minute, let alone my whole life!
– Well, that will go away as soon as you get used to the noise, and that can take 10 weeks, 10 years or the rest of your life.
(Note: go to this article to read “What is tinnitus, its causes and treatments“)
And so they leave you like that when they tell you, without further explanation, without any empathy. Without giving you information about what is happening to you and why, without giving you some suggestions to cope, without suggesting any kind of therapy or action to follow.
And I will have this for the rest of my life?
And right there, you break to cry as if the world is coming at you… because it is. Ten years? The rest of my life? Those words would be etched in my mind forever.
Isn’t life funny? There are days that will pass through you without sorrow or glory and you will never remember that they existed, and others which you will never forget a minute, as if they just happened yesterday.
It was only two days ago that life was so good, and now these horrible buzzes would be with me forever? I’m sorry, I can’t accept that.
And I lost it. A dark fear seized me, the fear of thinking I could not deal with it. I’ve been crying for days.
I only had one thought that tormented me and consumed all my energy: I wish I could go back in time and not have gone to that bar.
Little could I imagine then, soon everything was going to get worse.
Read:
Chinese medicine: the only method that has truly reduced my tinnitus (in a week)
The 12 tinnitus treatments I have personally tested (what works and what not?)
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